Tuesday, 28 September 2010

Now you know why I make my own bread....

"The maker of Hovis has been fined after a dead mouse was found in one of its loaves.
Shocked father Stephen Forse spotted the mouse in a loaf he was using to make sandwiches for his children.
Mr Forse bought the bread from Tesco Online and had already used some of it when he noticed "a dark-coloured object embedded in the corner of three or four slices".
The 41-year-old father from Kidlington in Oxfordshire first though it was a section of unmixed dough but quickly realised his mistake.
"As I looked closer, I saw that the object had fur on it," he said.
The situation was made even worse when an environmental health officer, who had called to gather evidence, found that the mouse was without a tail.
"Her comments made me feel ill once again as there was no indication as to where the tail was," said Mr Forse.
"Had it fallen off prior to the bread being wrapped or had any of my family eaten it with another slice of bread on a previous day?"
Manufacturer Premier Foods was fined £5,500 and ordered to pay £11,109.47 in costs at Oxford Crown Court for failing to maintain acceptable standards at their site in Mitcham, south London."
A spokesman for Premier Foods said: "We apologise profusely for the distress caused as a result of this isolated incident."

For fucks sake!!!!

Johnstan's the butchers

Today I, & not without some trepidation, decided to buy some offal. Given the choice of supermarkets locally I decided to support my local & only butcher....Johnstan's.
Normally when one goes into the shop it is almost impossible to come out not only with what one went into purchase,but cfome out having brought at least half dozen other items of meat or fish, such are the persuasive talents of Stan the owner & master butcher of the place.
However today I went in brought 1lb of pigs liver & managed to come out without buying anything else! This dispite Stan (the man) strongly suggesting that I should buy some "tasty back bacon to compliment the liver...." Not content with me declining his advice/suggestion he went on to suggest that I buy some of his "home made Chilli & Garlic sausages"
Now came the difficult bit...he had some of the aforementioned sausages already cooked & gave me a sample, & bloody good they were too! Nevertheless I exercised restraint & assertivly declied his suggestion.
My friend in Oz John Middleton, will fully understand what I'm talking about, as he has numerous times run the gauntlet of Johnstans' sales methods.
He is a damn fine butcher though, & today his pigs hearts did look appealing....however the trick is I've discovered, not to let Stan catch you looking at anything else in the shop whilst you wait for your purchase to be weighed up.

And the offal?? Delicious......
Thanks Stan

Monday, 27 September 2010

Finally.....


I'm sure that you will recall people a few weeks ago when I reported that Kate had finally completed & submitted her thesis as part of her MA in psycho-dynamic counselling.

Well today, I can happily report that she has had it marked & graded & has passed!


The year(s) of stress & lonesomeness experienced by all the family (including Kate) have been worth it. Kate has now achieved her Master of Arts......Congratulations & very well done Kate!


Saturday, 25 September 2010

Shh!
Be quiet and listen to the silence.
The endless void that swallows noise,
Don't be frightened by the blackness,
Welcome it with open arms.

Shh!
Be silent and listen to the quiet.
The still torcher of deafening proportions.
Try not to tremble in the echo of nothing.

Don't break down in the forever death.
The lasting time of being alone.
Without even your thoughts to comfort you.

Don't cry my love,
I'll hold you in the stillness.
Against the nothing,
we have everything.

x

Birmingham...

Out & about today I noticed (& I may have been mistaken on this people) that the 'old' Birmingham suburb of 'Lee Bank' has been renamed 'Atwood Green'. In order to facilitate this the City Council have demolished most of the old 1960-70's tower block & replaced them with breeze block matchboxes. At first glance they look clean, there are large areas of green & the residents appear happy.
However..... At the Midland Arts Centre -(now there is a design motivated by mammon & is 1 of the ugliest public 'art' centres I have ever come across)-there is an exhibition of photographs of the residents of 'Atwood Green' going about their daily business. Lovely, really nice. The photos show what Birmingham is good at, what we here in Birmingham have I believe, achieved even better than London & for what we should be proud of.
Namely we Birmingham have achieved with the minimum of fuss, disruption & (at least on the surface anyway!) ill feeling from Brummies an atmosphere of racial & cultural co-existence & co-operation. I saw photos of black, tanned, Asian, oriental & white Brummies. All looking happy, living with each other.

But 1 thing that I believe that Birmingham hasn't achieved yet is the mixing of classes, Looking around the city & having lived in a few different suburbs of this fair & once proud city I have observed that there are different classes in each of its suburbs. In Birmingham's defence though I believe this to be the case in most of the UK (including Northern Ireland). Though not in my experience in the Irish Republic.
In Birmingham for example those of 'higher class' tend to live in Solihull (well some parts of that right wing suburb) those of a lower class live in Northfied or Kingstanding-though further up the road from Kingstanding ( & slightly 'posher' is GreatBarr).

This none cross mixing of classes is so typical fucking English I believe, I don't think it occurs on the Continent where surgeons often live cheek by jowl with cleaners, teachers & car engineers.

Just an observation people...I hope you understand.....But there again I don't give a flying fuck if you don't!

Tuesday, 21 September 2010

I think so....

The man who is not dead still has a chance. LEBANESE PROVERB

Christmas???/ Northerners

Only a couple of rants today people.
You may know or not know but I am currently an 'Aldi boy' by that I mean that currently I do the weekly shop generally at Aldi's. I do so because its cheaper than the big 2 0r 3 other supermarkets, generally the quality is very good & there Sainsburys et al. You would be surprised at the type of people that shop there: I came across a couple loading their shopping into the back of their (I presume!) top of the range Lexus 4x4 jeep, I've come across Birmingham University lecturers, at last month I saw the BBC Midlands Today weather girl buying wine at the Aldi in Selly Oak!! (I'd like to get my hands on her isobars I can tell you!!).
Now, where am I going with this?? I'll tell you....today, whilst paying for my purchase of Mozzarella cheese, I saw that Aldi were selling.... Advent Calenders!!
What the fuck is this?? Its just about the season of Autumn, not even October & the bloody shops (& I use the pleural) are selling Christmas goods. Its the consumer world gone mad. The money grabbing bastards & you know what?....I saw one woman pick 1 up & look at it!! I despair at the world that I have retired into I really do.

The other rant I wish to bore you with is this: The sad twat that I am I caught an episode of 'Coronation Street' last night. To be honest I couldn't make much sense of what was happening, I did recognise Ken Barlow, however, I noticed that without exception, those that work (& indeed those that don't) go to the 'Rovers' pub at lunch time have a couple of pints & a hotpot & then return to work none the worse the ware for drinking in the middle of the day.

My conclusions is this: Either Northerners are a race set apart from us the rest of the country & thus are able to drink copious amounts of alcohol at lunch time without falling asleep mid afternoon as the rest of the population in my observation, appear to do.
Or, the cast (& ? those north of Derby)are not drinking 'real' beer, wine, G&T's etc etc especially at lunch time.
Its all bollocks though. I think I'll stick to watching 'Snog, Marry, Avoid' in future!! And that will be the subject of another rant in the future I'm sure.....

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Cheers!!!