I see you ever so clear
Your face is coming so near
i see your shadows paint a story
I see your eyes filled with glory
You are there hidden in my dream
This heart filled never ending theme
Come near to me my love of new
I will never paint your heart blue
One question, where are you?
x
Friday 29 January 2010
Wednesday 27 January 2010
Harry Potter!
I'm not him yer know...Harry bleedin' Potter I mean. Its just that people specifically those referred to me, (& indeed some GP's seem to think that I'm him as well!)seem to mistake me for that warlock prat just because I wear glasses.
I have no magic spells to change some peoples shite lives, nor can I magic away their anxieties, their depressions, their phobias or compulsions unless they themselves become WILLING participants in therapy of some description-the majority however are neither willing nor interested in having any input to improve their lives. Instead they want me, a representative of the 'Nanny State' to magic away their woes! Perhaps assisted by the odd pill or two. No can do, nor am I willing too people!!
Take this as an example: One person who amid forced tears & untruths appeared to want me to banish away not only his ex wife but also the massive financial bills he'd accrued for non payments of something or other. I tell you now folks... I did not fall off the Christmas Tree last year.
Of course I wrote this person a cheque out there and then! My arse!
Thank God I leave 'Hogworts' in March!
I have no magic spells to change some peoples shite lives, nor can I magic away their anxieties, their depressions, their phobias or compulsions unless they themselves become WILLING participants in therapy of some description-the majority however are neither willing nor interested in having any input to improve their lives. Instead they want me, a representative of the 'Nanny State' to magic away their woes! Perhaps assisted by the odd pill or two. No can do, nor am I willing too people!!
Take this as an example: One person who amid forced tears & untruths appeared to want me to banish away not only his ex wife but also the massive financial bills he'd accrued for non payments of something or other. I tell you now folks... I did not fall off the Christmas Tree last year.
Of course I wrote this person a cheque out there and then! My arse!
Thank God I leave 'Hogworts' in March!
Tuesday 19 January 2010
Birmingham Betrayed...
Today is a sad day.
I will write little, only to say that today the last remaining major manufacturing industry in this once proud city of 101 trades has been sold to the Americans with God knows what consequences for the people of Birmingham who work at Cadbury's.
Not only have we lost Jaguar, HP Sauce,LDV, Austin aka Rover,Typhoo Tea & now....Cadbury.
RIP
:-(
I will write little, only to say that today the last remaining major manufacturing industry in this once proud city of 101 trades has been sold to the Americans with God knows what consequences for the people of Birmingham who work at Cadbury's.
Not only have we lost Jaguar, HP Sauce,LDV, Austin aka Rover,Typhoo Tea & now....Cadbury.
RIP
:-(
Friday 15 January 2010
A bloody good slap
I think its a regretable (side) effect of getting old(er)- The intense desire I have to slap across the face and tell that recipient of the slap just what I think.
I'm thinking now of the letter I received from Birmingham City (shyster)Council threatening me with court action because I'm late with my Council Tax. The cheeky bastards!!!
My bins have not been emptied since before that festival of enforced joviality- (aka Christmas.) I have not been given any information on when they might be emptied & at the moment they remain outside my house where they will stay until they are emptied. My road resembles an ice rink that Torville & Dean could perform Ravel's Bolero on-so much for gritting.
All this serves to reinforce my belief that we, the tax paying public, don't matter a toss to the those who impose & collect those same said taxes.
Just when will the council become accountable to those poor sods who elected them & pay their salaries?
I'm thinking now of the letter I received from Birmingham City (shyster)Council threatening me with court action because I'm late with my Council Tax. The cheeky bastards!!!
My bins have not been emptied since before that festival of enforced joviality- (aka Christmas.) I have not been given any information on when they might be emptied & at the moment they remain outside my house where they will stay until they are emptied. My road resembles an ice rink that Torville & Dean could perform Ravel's Bolero on-so much for gritting.
All this serves to reinforce my belief that we, the tax paying public, don't matter a toss to the those who impose & collect those same said taxes.
Just when will the council become accountable to those poor sods who elected them & pay their salaries?
Do they give a damn???
I see from the news over the last couple of days that even more British industries are closing their operations in the UK & moving overseas.
Today I hear that 900 odd people who work for 'Bosch Car parts' based in South wales are to lose their jobs as the company closes its UK operations after some 65 years & relocates to Hungary. I also hear that Twinings Tea (Who's website proudly boast that its a UK company!) are closing up their UK base & moving to Holland again with the loss of UK jobs.
The 'Government' that allegedly supports, encourages investment in the UK as well as supposedly safeguarding UK jobs has not come out & said a word. Rather they have passively sat back (as be their want) & done, as we the stupid gullible Brits come to expect & accept....nothing. Its HP sauce all over again...
Clearly The 'Labour' party of Gordon Brown has now finally demonstrated to the working people of the UK that they do not give a feck about what happens to them. As long as they can continue to occupy their cosy seats in Westminster, glean off thousands of pounds in expenses they are content.
When will the workers (the few that are left anyway) wake up & smell the tea?
I urge the electorate of this unemployed country to vote with their absence...& not vote. But their again... there are still the misguided few who will vote for the Fascist Cameron & his bunch of middle class, public school educated yahoo's who will then rip what little remains of the heart out of the country for their own gain.
Meanwhile: We still send young men & women to die in foreign fields when the call is made by the 'Government'. Buts thats personal choice I guess...
Today I hear that 900 odd people who work for 'Bosch Car parts' based in South wales are to lose their jobs as the company closes its UK operations after some 65 years & relocates to Hungary. I also hear that Twinings Tea (Who's website proudly boast that its a UK company!) are closing up their UK base & moving to Holland again with the loss of UK jobs.
The 'Government' that allegedly supports, encourages investment in the UK as well as supposedly safeguarding UK jobs has not come out & said a word. Rather they have passively sat back (as be their want) & done, as we the stupid gullible Brits come to expect & accept....nothing. Its HP sauce all over again...
Clearly The 'Labour' party of Gordon Brown has now finally demonstrated to the working people of the UK that they do not give a feck about what happens to them. As long as they can continue to occupy their cosy seats in Westminster, glean off thousands of pounds in expenses they are content.
When will the workers (the few that are left anyway) wake up & smell the tea?
I urge the electorate of this unemployed country to vote with their absence...& not vote. But their again... there are still the misguided few who will vote for the Fascist Cameron & his bunch of middle class, public school educated yahoo's who will then rip what little remains of the heart out of the country for their own gain.
Meanwhile: We still send young men & women to die in foreign fields when the call is made by the 'Government'. Buts thats personal choice I guess...
Wednesday 13 January 2010
Its not funny anymore....
It ain't funny anymore....this snow stuff I mean. Its gone one on since New Years Day & a wee bit before. Its cold, its costing me a fortune to heat the bloody house (& everyone keeps leaving doors open!)The local wildlife can't get any food and I have worn my old walking boots along with two pairs of socks to work for the last week.
I think I may have Trench Foot. I long to wear some light shoes again, to see the sun,& to feel its warmth on my face. I remember the feeling of warm that I felt when I got off the plane the last time I went to Spain Ahhhh!!! Sweet bliss! it seems like an age ago.
The scene outside the living room patio doors overlooking Highbury Park calls to mind the winter scene from the 'Chronicles of Narnia'-"Always winter never Christmas..." That's another thing... Christmas, with all its enforced joviality seems light years away now. Today, St. Hillary's day is traditionally the coldest day of the year/winter...well thats bullshit I have to say it should read...."...another one of the coldest days of the winter"
I tried I really did to get to work today, but the knowledge that I'll soon be finished with full time work & the difficulty in even getting up to the High Street prompted me to cancel my surgeries, phone work & book an annual leave day. So hear I am...I came home had some 'comfort food'-a fry, made a loaf & am in the process of making a chocolate cake.
So this is it then... the solitude of today with everyone out/working is what its likely to be like come March 31st-retirement. Not sure I like it...
Sunday 10 January 2010
A rant!!
I see that the most inappropriately named (Alistair) 'Darling' has said that he plans to give us a budget before the General election this year & that there will be "...far & deep ranging cuts...". The Fascist.
People.... a word of advice....never trust anyone whose eyebrows are a different colour from their hair. He fits that description.
That man looks deceitful. History will show that he has betrayed the very political ideology that he claims to represent. That he rewarded the rich at the expense of the few 'working' class that remain. His party having sacrificed the workers to the God known as Bankers.
Sadly, the nation I fear will not fare any better nor will living standards improve when the 'Brylcream' boy Cameron take office at number 10 Downing Street. Not only has he any experience in political administration, he consistently lies in his attempts to curry favour with the voters of the country.
My maternal Grandfather, a wise and intelligent Irish man long since passed away, said many years ago that "this country is finished" Sadly I think that he was and is right.
People.... a word of advice....never trust anyone whose eyebrows are a different colour from their hair. He fits that description.
That man looks deceitful. History will show that he has betrayed the very political ideology that he claims to represent. That he rewarded the rich at the expense of the few 'working' class that remain. His party having sacrificed the workers to the God known as Bankers.
Sadly, the nation I fear will not fare any better nor will living standards improve when the 'Brylcream' boy Cameron take office at number 10 Downing Street. Not only has he any experience in political administration, he consistently lies in his attempts to curry favour with the voters of the country.
My maternal Grandfather, a wise and intelligent Irish man long since passed away, said many years ago that "this country is finished" Sadly I think that he was and is right.
This seems so appropriate!
Winter
When icicles hang by the wall
And Dick the shepherd blows his nail
And Tom bears logs into the hall,
And milk comes frozen home in pail,
When Blood is nipped and ways be foul,
Then nightly sings the staring owl,
Tu-who;
Tu-whit, tu-who: a merry note,
While greasy Joan doth keel the pot.
When all aloud the wind doth blow,
And coughing drowns the parson's saw,
And birds sit brooding in the snow,
And Marian's nose looks red and raw
When roasted crabs hiss in the bowl,
Then nightly sings the staring owl,
Tu-who;
Tu-whit, tu-who: a merry note,
While greasy Joan doth keel the pot.
William Shakespeare
When icicles hang by the wall
And Dick the shepherd blows his nail
And Tom bears logs into the hall,
And milk comes frozen home in pail,
When Blood is nipped and ways be foul,
Then nightly sings the staring owl,
Tu-who;
Tu-whit, tu-who: a merry note,
While greasy Joan doth keel the pot.
When all aloud the wind doth blow,
And coughing drowns the parson's saw,
And birds sit brooding in the snow,
And Marian's nose looks red and raw
When roasted crabs hiss in the bowl,
Then nightly sings the staring owl,
Tu-who;
Tu-whit, tu-who: a merry note,
While greasy Joan doth keel the pot.
William Shakespeare
Wednesday 6 January 2010
Monday 4 January 2010
Ahhh...Tomorrow I return to work. I return with a heavy heart and a surreal feeling descending upon my spirits. I have a knowledge that I have only a limited time left to work in my present roll, this limitation does, if I am honest, have a bearing upon my commitment to what I do. However I am certain that when I sit there with the person before me I will lose that knowledge & feel that I have years more to offer that person.
But in practical terms the number of people I can offer therapy to is decreasing daily as I continue to work my period of resignation. This,I have not come to terms with yet. So tonight as I gaze at my name badge,lay out my work mobile phone and prepare my clothes I reflect upon these things....my years as a full time health care professional are drawing to a close.
Analyse this... as the film invites us to....
But in practical terms the number of people I can offer therapy to is decreasing daily as I continue to work my period of resignation. This,I have not come to terms with yet. So tonight as I gaze at my name badge,lay out my work mobile phone and prepare my clothes I reflect upon these things....my years as a full time health care professional are drawing to a close.
Analyse this... as the film invites us to....
In /around his eyes?
Scraping the hard frost off the car windscreen this morning I came along my old deputy headmaster who calling upon his daughter,(who lives in the house opposite) came over to wish me "Happy New Year".
We shook hands warmly and made superficial conversation about how each spent the festive period. As we chatted I looked beyond his words, beyond his wrinkles and I attempted to look at the history we shared in common & that was still apparent in & around his eyes.
In his eyes I saw reflected my memories of my school years. Lines of young men wearing the same school uniform. Some giggling, others poking & teasing one another chatting noisily as they left the school hall. I heard voices of authority telling them to "be quiet!". In his eyes today I saw his present and moreover his past temperament-quiet, yet menacing in his authority. Passively imposing the power of his position. I didn't see any any love for his past experience, rather I saw a resignation for his role at that time it being his 'lot in life', his duty.
Around his eyes today though I felt I saw a softening. Expressed perhaps the wrinkles in his face, around his eyes- the 'crows feet' as if time itself had pecked & prodded-as crows do in a meadow-across the meadows of his life. I felt & saw a thawing expressed by the tones in his voice, in his attempts to find a common theme in our conversation. But yet..... I still found this ground as hard as the very ground upon which we both trod upon this frosty January morning. Little equity did I feel in the relationship even after all these years.
He was & still is my Deputy Headmaster. Though now in 2010 I felt no fear nor awe of him Just an awareness of the distance that was established all those years past & still exists to this day, & that I felt sadly biting my heart as strongly & as sharply as the cold stung my face this morning.
I wonder if 'Sir' felt it too??
We shook hands warmly and made superficial conversation about how each spent the festive period. As we chatted I looked beyond his words, beyond his wrinkles and I attempted to look at the history we shared in common & that was still apparent in & around his eyes.
In his eyes I saw reflected my memories of my school years. Lines of young men wearing the same school uniform. Some giggling, others poking & teasing one another chatting noisily as they left the school hall. I heard voices of authority telling them to "be quiet!". In his eyes today I saw his present and moreover his past temperament-quiet, yet menacing in his authority. Passively imposing the power of his position. I didn't see any any love for his past experience, rather I saw a resignation for his role at that time it being his 'lot in life', his duty.
Around his eyes today though I felt I saw a softening. Expressed perhaps the wrinkles in his face, around his eyes- the 'crows feet' as if time itself had pecked & prodded-as crows do in a meadow-across the meadows of his life. I felt & saw a thawing expressed by the tones in his voice, in his attempts to find a common theme in our conversation. But yet..... I still found this ground as hard as the very ground upon which we both trod upon this frosty January morning. Little equity did I feel in the relationship even after all these years.
He was & still is my Deputy Headmaster. Though now in 2010 I felt no fear nor awe of him Just an awareness of the distance that was established all those years past & still exists to this day, & that I felt sadly biting my heart as strongly & as sharply as the cold stung my face this morning.
I wonder if 'Sir' felt it too??
Sunday 3 January 2010
New Year
After picking up my youngest daughter from work on New Years Eve we all drove up to Tadcaster in Yorkshire. It seemed as if the world was going mad & in a tearing hurry as the M1 was busy & very fast. we stopped for our usual 'Full On Picnic' at Woolley Edge service area, (where else would a woolley stop?)a well organised and prepared affair put together by Kathleen.)
Arriving at my daughters we received a welcome as warm as the Yorkshire temperature was cold & we sat down to a delightful tea. We spent the Eve at an Italian restaurant then returned to Claire's house for games whilst awaiting the turn of the year. All the worse for drink & hoarse for shouting during the riotous games we retired to bed at 2am!!
New years day we all went out for a walk across the Yorkshire moors. Though bitterly cold it was very, very memorable. Feeding horses and pigs that we past (in pens/fields!) en route.
Out time in Yorkshire ended with us all wishing on a hot air lantern which we released into the freezing night air on the 1st of January 2010.
The drive back home was an event that I'd rather note even write about as the trauma of the traffic, road works and weather still cause me PTSD!
This was a time to lock firmly in the memory banks: A happy time, Claires last New Year as a 'Woolley' & mine in full time employment.
Happy New Year!!
Arriving at my daughters we received a welcome as warm as the Yorkshire temperature was cold & we sat down to a delightful tea. We spent the Eve at an Italian restaurant then returned to Claire's house for games whilst awaiting the turn of the year. All the worse for drink & hoarse for shouting during the riotous games we retired to bed at 2am!!
New years day we all went out for a walk across the Yorkshire moors. Though bitterly cold it was very, very memorable. Feeding horses and pigs that we past (in pens/fields!) en route.
Out time in Yorkshire ended with us all wishing on a hot air lantern which we released into the freezing night air on the 1st of January 2010.
The drive back home was an event that I'd rather note even write about as the trauma of the traffic, road works and weather still cause me PTSD!
This was a time to lock firmly in the memory banks: A happy time, Claires last New Year as a 'Woolley' & mine in full time employment.
Happy New Year!!
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