I have felt periodically near to tears today especially this evening. I can let none see me nor feel that I can share the emotion(s) with anyone close to me.
I am scared. Scared because in just over one month I will cease to be in full time employment. After almost forty years as a nurse I am to retire & I'm not entirely sure that I am ready to look & recognise myself.
I have for years avoided doing so, have avoided looking by burying myself, sheltering behind my profession & my humour Now that persona will shortly be surrendered. The uncertainty of how I will actually feel scares me. I need a cuddle but cannot tell those close the reason why. Yet I know I am not alone-I reflect upon the thousands of people in the world who have lost their jobs, their livelihoods & they won't be receiving a pension. I am very fortunate I realise that.
God I must sound shallow, pathetic & having a veneer for a personality. But I feel alone. Feel scared & apprehensive of my future