The latest object of my elderly lust is Lorraine (the cleavage) Kelly. It was she some months ago I saw on the telly advocating the health benefits of pumpkin seeds &, as I was in love with her, at least carnally, I took what she said as gospel & begun to eat the aforementioned seeds daily on my (Aldi) wheatbix. Have I felt any health benefits?? Some, I have to admit but I will not disclose these here & now.
However, thanks to the busty Ms Kelly eating pumpkin seeds has necessitated me travelling to see the not so busty Mr Bentley (BDS B'ham) in Hamstead Heath (Birmingham, not bloody London) as today I chipped a tooth biting on a seed. Bastard!
Although madly in lustful love with the delightful Ms Kelly, I do blame her for my tongue grating on the jagged tooth, & I think she should consider soothing my slightly swollen tongue by allowing me to run my tongue along the perimeter her naked ample bosom.
Sadly I fear that will never happen, but I will go on eating pumpkin seeds & lusting after Ms Kelly.
I ask myself though.....what ever did I see in Charlie Dimmock all those years ago?? Awful.
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