Tuesday, 21 June 2011

Fathers Day #2

Fathers Day came & went. The kids treated me to card, dinner out & a cookbook from my daughter in Yorkshire. However my opinion of the memorial day remains the same though.
If I sound bitter perhaps I am; a bitter, grumpy old man. Having that knowledge saddens me abit to be honest. I shouldn't be to be fair.  I have a home-paid for, 3 loving children & no great money worries in a land beset with debt & unemployment.I have 3 children all in full time employment so...
But if I might be permitted a moan.....Retirement, (even though I'm only 58years old) hasn't turn out what my idealistic head & heart thought it would turn out to be. I'm working harder than when I was in full time employment. I work 2 days weekly in payed employment & spend the other time caring for my dysfunctional mother. Mind you, I learnt so much about her of late-her personality, her relationship with my father, her mother, & my brother & me. I've discovered that I was 'given away' as child to my maternal granny to replace an illegitimate son killed in the Birmingham Blitz of 1941. How does that cause me to feel??- Confused, bitter & explains  to me why I feel very alone at times.
Mom seems to have a degree of developmental (nutritional) mild learning disability, deprived of certain nutriments as a young child, which is becoming more obvious now she is elderly. I reflect upon my growing years with her & I can see the signs now.She presents some personality disorder traits. That's not as bad as it sounds folks, cos' its my belief that WE'RE ALL on a line of personality disorder(s). Some of us more extreme & dysfunctional than others.
I'll end of this note then.... how many of us can honestly say that we are happy & satisfied??.


The Birmingham Blitz

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