Ryan Giggs

I reckon its legally safe now for me to speak openly about Ryan Giggs. Mr Giggs, for those of you who are blissfully unaware, is a soccer player who plays for Manchester United (spit, gob!) & Wales who is at best a bit of a philanderer, and actually (if those excuses for newspapers 'The Sun'  & 'The News of the World' are to believed) one dirty, sexist shag happy git.

Up at my local mini mart -(Rupri's)- yesterday,treating myself to a couple of cans of 'Abbot Ale' (a reward for having coped with my mother for a day & night) there on the counter was the 'News of the World' sporting the headline boasting (I think?) that 'Ryan Giggs is the father of my illegitimate baby'. No doubt another enterprising young tart had spotted yet another gap in the Giggs saga & had jumped on the band wagon & had made a few bucks. I say bloody good luck to her!

Every day last week though there was a copy of 'The Sun' in our office, & it sported a different headline daily concerning the aforementioned Ryan ( the bastard shagged my doberman) Giggs. You could be forgiven that there is feck all else going on in the world-is there a war in Afghanistan?, a revolution in Libya?, Are people being slaughtered out of hand in Syria?? Does 'The Sun' & The News of the World' give a feck  anyway???-Apparently not. In their opinion all the great British public are concerned about are the bed hopping antics of Ryan (the bastard shagged my great, great grandmother) Giggs.. What do you expect though??-Both rags are a Right Wing press who believe that the less the working (?) man/electorate know about the real world the better.
Yet I sense an opportunity to make a quick buck though. And why not??! Today I can announce that "I was date raped by Ryan Giggs in 1954". Look out for this story in all of the tabloid rags coming soon to a newsagent shop near you folks!  The fact that I was only 2 years old at the time, & that Ryan -(I caught him with his cock in our fireplace-he thinks he's fucking grate!)-Giggs wasn't even born then, has bugger all to do with it.

BUT: You know, who really gives a flying feck about what, whom & how Ryan Giggs lives? As long as I don't find him actually shagging on my doorstep causing me to trip & fall over him & his flozzie, I don't bloody care!!